Right now, it’s about eight in the morning and I have no idea why I’m awake. Technically I do – I woke myself up coughing – but apart from that, I would much rather be sleeping. In three hours we have our official orientation meeting, and after that, we have one last hour to eat lunch and say goodbye to people on campus, then we load buses and go to the airport.
I’ve answered more questions in the past few days than I think I have in my entire life, and they’ve all been the same: “Are you excited?” “Do you know where you’re going to travel?” “How did you pack?” And not to sound ungrateful or uninformed, but the answer to all of these is “I’m not sure.”
I’m not sure if I’m excited since I haven’t really accepted it yet. Yes, I know, soon I get on a plane and fly off to another country, but to say it hasn’t sunk in yet would be an understatement. I chalk it up to distraction: I had a week of OL training, then Orientation Week itself, then another week of couchsurfing…I haven’t had time to accept that I’m leaving the country. While my peers have been packing like madmen, I’ve been reclining in the student lounge with Tumblr. Most people say I won’t realize until I’m on the plane; I say I won’t realize until I’ve been in Well for a week or more. We’ll see what happens, but for now I feel strictly like a layman off the street plucked up for an international experiment.
I’m not sure where I’m going to travel since I haven’t spent the time on it. I want to know – I’m a planner by nature – but I just can’t be sure yet. Everyone else seems to have every weekend worked out and while I’ve heard past Castlers go blue in the face trying to tell me not to do that, I’m still nervous. Traveling makes me anxious. I don’t like thinking about traveling. Thus, I don’t do research since I’d rather run from my problems than face them. (Z gets real when there’s lack of sleep in the picture.) (Z also seems to talk in third person when there’s lack of sleep in the picture.) I know I will somehow, some way go to a few different countries over the course of the semester, but for now I’m happy to live in ignorance.
And NO, I’M NOT SURE HOW I PACKED. I was all packed up and ready to fly away by
August 19th. Today is September 13th. It’s not far off to say I have no idea what is in the nether-regions of either of my bags. I took out a small amount of clothes to couch surf in and the rest is a mystery. In my backpack for the plane I’m carrying my laptop, my netbook, both chargers, a notebook, important documents, my iPod, my iPhone, my stuffed dog Maxie, and a few other odds and ends. The rest I’ll find out in Well.
There should be a disclaimer on this that says I’m so sleep-deprived you really shouldn’t trust anything I say, but I think fatigue – and a hacking cough – brings out my honesty. In the meantime, I’m going to take a hot shower, weigh Wilbur for the fourth time, and try to understand what the next three months are going to be like.